When a romantic relationship breaks up people tend to feel less good about themselves, or at a minimum less sure about the reasons they have to feel good about themselves. This is common and natural.
Psychologists say that these feelings can be problematic only when they create emotional distress that can prevent a person from functioning normally and thinking clearly. This seems to happen most often when one of the partners in the relationship does not feel that they were the cause of the breakup, or that the breakup happened because of a mistaken perception of their partner about something that they said or they did.
In those cases the person that is really the victim of the breakup would like to get the misunderstanding straightened out, and get back with their ex husband or boyfriend.
What often happens is that the person who wants to get the relationship back on track pushes too hard and appears too anxious to her ex. Maybe there are too many phone calls, too many messages left on answering machines, and too many text messages and e-mails. When the pump stops working let go of the handle. Take a different approach.
There is an old saying that men always want the girl they cannot have. Psychological studies have proved there is more truth to that old saying than not. The researchers also revealed one little psychological secret that you can use to your advantage. The secret twist is that while the men were always more attracted to the hard to get women than to any of the easy to get women, the one woman they were most attracted to was the one who said she might be interested but didn’t know yet.
They were not exactly sure how that works but they think that the men were afraid of losing a woman who had expressed the possibility of interest in them to another male competitor.
So if you are feeling a little down on yourself after the breakup and do not feel like the telephone calls, messages and e-mails are moving getting your ex back in the right direction then apply some psychology and change the game. Let him know that you might still be interested in getting back together because you think he is special, but you are not sure yet.
You also have to genuinely make yourself hard to get and stop making phone calls and sending e-mails. There are one million other things you can be doing that are interesting to you, so go do them. He will know you are out there probably meeting new people and even if there is nobody else at the moment, you can almost always bet that he will imagine there is.
Nobody is saying that this will be easy but it could be the game changer that you were looking for to get your ex-boyfriend back.
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